better

i do love the gym.  i almost didn't go. again. worn out, still mopey, crampy, and the weather was ASS when i left the office... if i hadn't been all self-indulgent and whiny last night, i wouldn't have.  but i didn't want two nights in a row of sitting around, drinking and smoking, so i braved the roads, chugged some mild energy tonic, and got to it.  so glad i did.  i will likely not be able to move much tomorrow, but you'll have that.

oh, side note, TOTALLY almost got in an accident on the way there.  some utter MORON decided to try and pull out in front of the car in front of me.  they almost collided, and i almost collided into them.  i instead slightly collided with the snowbank on the side of the road trying to stop in time.  but it all worked out in the end.  anyhoo.

breakfast was, as previously mentioned, yummy but didn't stick with me like i'd hoped. 

about 1/4 cup oat blend, cooked in water with cinnamon, half a banana and most of a little empire apple (i bought apples yesterday!  i missed them so)  the rest of the apple i ate while waiting for the oats to cook
stirred in some blueberries after cooking, and my wheat germ/flax blend
topped with dark chocolate almond butter, my cherry preserves, and 1/4 cup fiber one

fruit-a-licious! oats always make me smile.

snack 1 (sorta - it was RIGHT before lunch so it should prolly be considered my appetizer) - clementine with my tea, as threatened in the woe is me post.   

lunch was decent but i was really just going through the motions last night making it.  kinda drunk.

wrap with sabra roasted red pepper hummus,  canned chicken (salty.  wow) and spinach.  i warmed it up before eating, because i seriously craved hot food.  and my carrots.  always carrots.  if i run out of baby carrots, i spaz out.
i also had a couple bites of wasabi roasted edamame.  nice little texture/flavor switch there.

snack 2 - slice of bread, some natch more and cinnamon to fuel the workout.  and a speedy  'latte'  

snack 3 - i just keep eating scoops of protein powder in my car.  i've actually grown to like it.  the textures get all interesting.  digging it out of my teeth isn't fun, though. 

dinner - a relatively 'meh' salad, due to my poorness and lack of produce.  romaine blend, spinach, carrots, and some soy-marinated baked tofu... which was actually really good.  and italian dressing.  and a bite of the pizza that the rest of the fam ate.  it was decent, but it was multiple-meat and tasted very strongly of pepperoni grease so stopping at one bite was pretty easy, even though i'm still kind of hungry and LURVE ME SOME PIZZA.

workout (again... i really should have taken notes.  memory fail)

20 minutes on the stairmaster (aerobic training program, level 10) to 'warm up'.  and almost die a little.  but i do love the stairmaster.

chest press - 10x40, 15x50, 10x60, 5x70, 5x70, 10x60, 15x50

lat pull - 10x40, 5x50, 5x50, 10x40 (it seems like i did more than this, but i'm not sure)

bicep curl - 10x25, 15x30, 10x35, 10x35, 15x30 (something like this)

row - 10x30, 10x40, 5x50, 3x55, 5x50, 10x40

pec fly (alternating with the delt fly) - 10x20, 15x30, 10x40
delt fly - 10x20, 10x30, 5x40

i wanted to pyramid back down, but i didn't think i could.  

did some stretching to finish out the night, chatted with Jose and flirted with Bryan, and then was on my merry way.  almost went and tanned, but i plan to do that friday and i don't want to be snooky.  i hate that i know who that is.  but ONLY because of facebook.  

speaking of snooky.  there is a girl who works at my gym that is slowly morphing into her. 

on the way home, my mom texted asking where i was.  i thought she was concerned.  no, she wanted me to stop and buy her alcohol.  nice.  she handed me the 'no funds' excuse, but still wanted me to.  that ALMOST ruined my endorphin high.  i'm not sure what to do with the annoyance, so we haven't spoken since i got home.  i think she went all resourceful and found a way to be drunk anyway.  

oh, and i still haven't heard.  left a voice mail this morning, no call back.  i guess if it was a flat 'no' they'd have gotten back to me by now?  i am ENTIRELY too impatient to play this waiting game.  i know they didn't call my reference, which actually makes me feel better 'cause if they'd asked him my weaknesses, the most obvious one to come out of him would not be well received.  but now he knows how not to answer that question should he be asked it.  

work post... bad girl

goooooooooood morning. i'm on blogger instead of doing my job. tsk. but i didn't post last night and am distracted as all hell so maybe if i just get it out of the way i can focus on what i need to do.

things on my mind:

my coworker, Karen

is the only other person in my office. we have a shop in the back with great guys, but up here, it's just the two of us and has been for over half a year. we keep this place going pretty much on our own, which is funny because for the first couple years i worked here, we kinda hated each other. she felt threatened by me, and i thought she was a big huge bitch. i mean, we would go home and gripe to our respective significant others about each other like EVERY DAY. it was bad. but now, apart from our occasional irritable days, we're fantastic. if/when i go, i will worry for and miss her. anyhoo...

her mom died yesterday morning. she was diagnosed with cancer like two weeks ago... and died yesterday. it's amazing and awful and i can't even imagine how Karen is feeling. it's so... sudden and insanely dramatic. she was fine(ish). then she had cancer. then she had untreatable cancer. then Karen thought she was going to die last weekend and dropped everything to drive down to KY to see her, but it turns out she was just malnourished and dehydrated. got better, was back to her old self. Karen had a trip down there planned for this past weekend but canceled it because she was in a hospital and it wouldn't have been a good visit but they had TIME... and then she dies. i just hope against hope that Karen was able to get enough warning to be there with her, since she was going to go and then decided against it. otherwise she will hate herself.

i want to check in with her, but she's got to be busy and not in any shape to reiterate. so i will wait. in the meantime, i am all alone in the office and probably will be for the whole week. which is nice in some ways and not so much in others. solo days have varying effects on my productivity, as you can see.

the interview

they told me i would hear back 'early next week'. which is now 'now-ish'. so, of course, i am going insane watching my phone, and will be doing so until i hear something. i think i'll try to contain myself until wednesday, and then call if i don't hear something. until then... spaz spaz spaz.

my 401k

got my statement this past weekend. i had over 3K in it at the start of 2010 (not much, i know, but it's what i had) and at the end of 2010... nothing. $0.00. somehow it got withdrawn or something and it's GONE. so... that is stressing me out like crazy and i need to call my investment firm and see wtf is going on. one thing at a time...

yoga

second class is tonight. canNOT wait.

my mom

goes back to work today after weeks off with a broken wrist. which is excellent because she needs something to do with herself so she doesn't drink as much. not that that seems to make a difference. i'm sure, at some point, there'll be a 'mom' post as well. all KINDS of drama there.

breakfast

was pretty sweet. i meant to take a pic but i'm only randomly good at remembering to do that.

oats cooked in banana, cinnamon, hershey's special dark powder, and water... with chia seeds, flax/wheat germ blend, more cinnamon, reconstituted egg whites, vanilla, and some nonfat greek yogurt stirred in. topped with cherry jam, the last (NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO) of my homemade spiced almond butter, and fiber one cereal. it was delicious and a LOT and i'm still pretty full.

ugh... i want to tell you about my weekend (not much to tell, but still, want to get it down), but i really need to do some work.

it hurts me deeply that i can't do a heart, due to the fact that part of it is HTML code. the 'that is all' feels so abrupt and cold, and i want to love on you guys a little. i'll figure something out.

that is all.

try again

i swear i'm going to make an honest effort to maintain this journal. i went a little comment-y on other ladies' blogs tonight, so now's a good chance to talk to... myself.

i'm still having formatting issues with the older posts. i'm sorry, but it's pissing me off and i want to get some actual 'writing' in while i'm feeling inspired.

i signed up for a beginner's yoga class - last night was the first session. omg... it was AMAZING. i hope so much that once i'm done i can afford to keep taking classes, because that was such a wonderful experience and something i think my spazzy ass will get a lot out of. i spent all day today in a good mood, which only got better as the day progressed. might have something to do with ... dun dun duuun...

THE AWESOME JOB INTERVIEW. i applied online to a local college back in the end of october, as a records assistant/secretary. which is pretty much my specialty, or would be if i had my way. anyway, i didn't hear anything for weeks, and called to inquire and they told me they were still sorting through applicants and to hang tight. well, three weeks after THAT, i finally get a call. now, as i briefly touched on above, i am a big huge spaz. so i was nervous as hell. but i am also extremely qualified for this position, almost to the point of being overqualified. it IS a pay cut, but i seriously hate my current job and there are a lot of perks about getting this one so i think it's worth it.

anyway... nerves aside, i'm pretty sure i ROCKED that interview. exhuded confidence, made eye contact, had them laughing a little, and demonstrated just how perfect i am for the job. they have a total of four candidates, i was their third interview... i should find out early next week. so think happy thoughts for me, guys.

and now... on to the fun/food stuff:

breakfast:

was delicious, for one. i pre mix a blend of about three parts rolled oats to one part oat bran as my usual base, unless i make some overnight steel cut oats (mmm... i'm about due for a batch, actually)

my preferred constants are:

1/3 cup oat blend

1/2 banana

cinnamon

nuked for a minute in about 3/4 cup (i don't measure, just add enough to cover the oats) water

then sprinkled with about a tablespoon of a ground flax/wheat germ mix that i also prep ahead of time

today, i:

cooked the oats (etc, see above) in celestial seasonings nutcracker sweet tea (with caffeine, baby!)

stirred in blueberries, blackberries, and some no-sugar-added applesauce, and MORE cinnamon (never enough cinnamon... and it's good for blood sugar regulation!)

topped it with homemade spiced/roasted almond butter and the most delicious cherry preserves ever (bonne maman i think is the brand. looks local, but that could just be good packaging)

and DEVOURED. it was more... stuff... than i'm used to since i didn't eat much for dinner last night due to getting home late from yoga. kept me happily sated for an extra half hour, and i could have gone longer but i truly hate to be hungry. which brings me to...

lunch:

i'm operating on a much reduced budget, due to the holidays, so i'm working with what i've got plus a few 'gotta have' purchases (mostly blueberries and baby carrots). at the office, i happened to have:

kangaroo honey wheat pita pocket

small bag of baby spinach

single serve packet of tuna

single serve packet of light italian dressing

sabra roasted red pepper hummus

baby carrots (i brought these... gotta have carrots)

... hmm... whatever shall i make? obviously a tuna salad mix with spinach and dressing, stuffed in the pita. with carrots for crunch and hummus for dipping (sandwich and carrots). it was REALLY tasty and i will be doing it again. probably yet this week.

then i left the office early for the interview. got to see a friend for a few minutes, 'cause i used her bathroom to change (i hate my job and have no boss, therefore i don't really adhere to the 'business casual' standards and had to spruce up a bit), so that was nice. got there a little early, and rocked. then a couple of grocery store trips (big lots and kroger both rox my sox) and then home. had a couple of glasses of cheap but decent cabernet (and smoked 2 cigarettes... bad girl) while i cooked up:

dinner:

curry and couscous skillet

heated olive oil and minced garlic in a pan

chopped up and sauteed about 1/4 onion until soft (would have done more but i was low on onion)

slightly drained and added a can of diced tomatoes

let that cook a little, peppered and sprinkled with curry powder

drain and rinse a can of garbanzos, added them in

more stirring and anther couple shakes of curry powder

added about half a bag of mixed frozen veg (cauliflower, lima beans, asian green beans, carrots), a good few shakes of curry and about a half cup of water, covered and let it simmer for... a while? 15-20 minutes, keeping an eye on it

nuked 1 cup of water for about 4 minutes, to boiling

added a heaping 1/2 cup whole wheat couscous, stirred and set aside

uncovered the curry for the last few minutes, to evap some of the juice, then shut it off and made myself a salad

when it was TIME... i topped the couscous with the curry (obv) and then topped THAT with some fat free crumbled feta and slivered almonds and pine nuts. i really should have toasted the nuts first, but i didn't realize that until after i had put the oil in the skillet and it wasn't worth dirtying another dish. would have been better, but was still EXCELLENT. i took a picture! which i will upload later as it's getting late and if this is gonna get published, it had better happen tonight. i felt so good about the meal that i made myself some:

dessert:

small scoop of light pumpkin ice cream, topped with mini gingersnaps, whipped cream, and raisins soaked in hot spiced red wine. mm mm mm mm mm delicious

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand thus concludes my night. well, after my obligatory mug of celestial seasonings sleepytime tea. LOVE it, it's been a staple of mine for years

that is all. for now. and holy crap it was a lot...