another work post. i just can't focus this week.

obligatory self-pity post.  i do this sometimes.  sorry.


waiting to hear from the school is kicking my ass.  between my hormones going nuts (it's my SPECIAL time), the weather (we had 2' of snow drop over the weekend, and they're calling for more today) and my general lack of confidence, i'm convinced that they chose one of the other candidates and just don't want to tell me.  i understand that this is kind of silly, but i also understand that if they were crazy excited about me like i thought they might be, i should have heard something by now.  they need a person, that was obvious in the interview.  and they couldn't have me for 2 weeks and knew that.  so... get on it, right?  ugh... 


i'm just generally mopey this week.  lonely, both at work (Karen's still out, as she should be) and personally.  i drank too much last night.  didn't eat myself into a TOTAL coma like i was concerned that i would, but i drank 1 pretty large and then like 3 smaller glasses of wine.  which is a lot.  also, smoked a lot of cigarettes.  somewhere in the 7 or 8 range in a few hours (when i smoked, i smoked a LOT).    


all around bad.  again... ugh.  i'm trying to drop the weak 'woe is me' bs today, and am doing a bit better.  the chili that my mum made was yummy, as was the corn cake i made to accompany it.  so that was a yay.  and i think i'm gonna have a clementine with my tea.  breakfast was delicious, but apparently not as 'stick with me'-y as some of the recent ones have been.  more fruit, less oats.  


that is all.