Wednesday, January 19, 2011

checking in

it's been about a week since i've posted.  ruh roh.  but in my defense, i'm trying to read more and be in front of the computer less.  i'm currently re-reading the 'his dark materials' trilogy by philip pullman.  well, technically i'm re-reading 1 and 2 in preparation of reading 3 for the first time.  not sure why i didn't read it before, but i'm very excited.  very good books.

i've also been a fail at cataloging my meals, but i have been eating pretty well.  had the BEST thai takeout EVER on friday for lunch/dinner/midnight snack (huge portions) from a lovely little hole-in-the-wall in downtown and have officially fallen in love with coconut chicken soup.  omg.  i'm scouring the internet for a copycat recipe as we speak.  well, ok, not RIGHT now, but it's on my radar.  got a couple to try, and i will be going back there as soon as i can to try the yellow curry, as the pad thai was deeeeeeelicious.

i joined plenty of fish, which is an online dating site.  my first.  holy crap guys are crazy.  one day in and i'm already getting yelled at for taking too long to respond to messages.  but i've chatted with at least one promising guy so that's a good start.  but wtf random old guys trying to get me to go out.  i like older men, don't get me wrong, but when i say older men i mean like 7-10 years.  not 17-20.  really.

so friday night i did 4 x 25 bodyweight squats, trying to train myself on balance.  that was too many.  i'm JUST NOW starting to be able to get up without wincing.  but friday was an extremely short night, due to plans to go to a comedy show, so i guess it's good i accomplished something.  but no more.  i'm glad today is upper body, even though i'm a little tight from yoga.  apparently i need to do more work on my tri's... downward dog shouldn't kick my ass quite this hard.

honesty time.  for the first time in weeks, maybe even months, and DEFINITELY since the start of the new year, i purged.  twice.  once on saturday night, after gorging myself at the dessert table at a party, and once last night, after gorging myself on everydamnthing in sight.  mostly healthy stuff (except a donut), but high calorie and in mass quantity.  i need to learn to control myself when i drink (lots on saturday, a good sized glass of wine last night).  i don't even know why i did it last night, and am putting it out there in an effort to, well, keep it real, shame myself out of doing it again, and figure it out.  gah i don't know.  i just knew at some point i hit a threshold between 'ok, i ate WAY too much, but i can make peace with it' and 'well hell, i'm over the line, gonna have to throw up, may as well make it worthwhile and easier to actually do' and then ate more crap.  i generally hit this point if i'm having a 'binge' night (pretty much any night i have a treat is a binge night to me, yet another issue i'm working on'... and usually dive right over into the badlands.  i seriously have no idea where all this crap in my head came from, or why i feel the way i do.  but hey, that's what self improvement is all about, i guess.

that is all.

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